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” as if such a thing was unheard of. Fred sat thinking for a minute, and then said, “Did she say why? Has she given you any reason for not doing it?” Lance looked down at the floor again, obviously uncomfortable. “Well?” Fred asked. “Yeah, she did.” Again there was silence. “Well?” Fred asked again, “Talk to me, Lance. I can’t help if I don’t know all the facts.” Lance almost whispered, “She says I’m too big.” Fred squinted at him. “Too big? In what way? Wait – do you mean your… member… is too big?”Lance nodded.Fred was thinking, 'Jesus, am I dreaming, or being played for a fool? No, this is here and now, and I just struck gold.'He said out loud, “Well, I don’t know if that’s possible. I mean I’ve never heard of such a thing. Tell you what, for me to make an assessment I need to see it. Can I do that? Can you show it to me?” Lance shrugged and stood up, unzipped his pants, reached in and pulled out a long thick piece of meat. Fred blinked. He thought, 'Christ almighty, where did this. Things certainly weren't grey and featureless in the Boss' office. Computerised, airconditioned, carpeted and luxuriously furnished, it resembled the executive suite of thousands of big corporations. And the Boss looked like a typical CEO as well – Armani suited, New York haircut, California suntan and that big sincere conman's smile that could be turned off and on like a switch. Unfortunately for the crab it was off when he appeared before the presence and his welcome was anything but warm."It's been several hundred years since I had a crab BBQ. You have 30 seconds to dissuade me from grilling you!!"The crab was equal to the challenge though. "I know how to reintroduce suffering into their lives", he quickly said, "and what's more they'll thank you for it!"The Boss was intrigued. He indeed knew that his grey monotonous hell was essentially self defeating but had been unable to find a work around that kept headcount (of HIS staff) to a minimum & suffering (of HIS clientele) at an.
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